I APOLOGIZE

Oh yea! Where are my manners...

I'M BACK, BITCHES!!!

(I don't have the slightest idea why I like that phrase so much, lol.)

LISTEN UP ~ My Girl Gets Mad If I Don't Fuck Her

In the movie Alpha Dog, there is a scene where one of the guys says he has to leave (from watching Zack as their kidnap victim) because, "My girl gets mad if I don't fuck her".

This man, my male friends, has the right dayum idea. Fellas, don't believe the hype when it comes to what you've been conditioned to believe about women & sex. A number of us women {keyword: women, not "girls"} are freaks what homeboy Xilla from Blogxilla.com refers to as Sexual Intellectuals and don't shy away from our urges.

One key thing to understand about women is that we aren't used to being turned down sexually. Its in the top 5 of our "stuff that isn't supposed to happen" list. So when you give her the not tonight, don't be surprised when she displays major attitude.

MOMENTS WITH MANDII - I Hate "Women"

So yesterday afternoon I'm sitting at my desk perusing the innernets and trying to decide what to make for dinner. At exactly 2:05p CST, my mobile rings. Its not an assigned ringtone so I give a sigh, preparing myself to speak with a vendor. I glance at the screen as I pick up my phone & it reads: withheld. With a raised eyebrow, I silence my phone and place it back on my desk. It rings again at 2:07, and I ignore it again. It rings again at 2:09, and this time I answer. "Hello?", I say, and some poor unfortunate ignorant soul proceeds with, "you dirty white bitch" and promptly ends the call.

My first thought was, I'm not even white (lol). So I'm thinking, what kind of sick ass wrong number bullshit is this. Not being naive enough to swallow the "wrong number" pill, I go through my mental list of people I've been in contact with lately. Anyone new? Nope. Anyone I've had a fight or argument with? Nope. Anyone known to have a crazy bitch or two who has done this exact type of shit in the past? Bingo! I'm also thinking, who has access to my mobile number but doesn't know me well enough to know that (despite my hair texture and skin color), I'm black (lol). I'd figured out enough to no longer care about the call and went back to my precious innernets.

Fast forward through the rest of my day (dinner was great, BTW - baked stuffed pasta shells and homemade italian meatballs). I'm drifting away to slumber land and at 11:41p CST, my mobile rings again and again the screen reads withheld. Already irritated from an unrelated matter, I pick up my phone and, without giving her a chance to breathe a word, say "don't start this bullshit with me right now" and end the call. 11:42, the phone rings again and I hit ignore. Not even a minute later, the phone rings again and this time I hit ignore and power the phone off. And just before it goes down, I hear it begin to ring again. So yea, 3 of the calls came in within a 60 second time frame.

At 11:47, I power my phone back on and immediately call the man behind this ignorant little tramp. He didn't answer, so I politely left him a message suggesting that he tell his bitch to find something better to do than call me in the middle of the day and the middle of the night, not forgetting to add that it wouldn't be shit for me to find out who and where she is.

This was no idle threat. We all knew that I had the who part down already from a past run-in. Where wouldn't be difficult. Not long ago, I found out that we have a few mutual people in our lives. One of which being a very close homegirl of mine. I called homegirl this morning to let her know what happened and to verify that I had the right person.

Tho I'm young, I'm an adult. I don't play these games. If you have a problem with me, come to me and lets talk about what we can do to get it resolved. If you're incapable of such civil behavior, then stand the fuck down. What bothers me most about this is the fact that I've been face to face with her before. She'd called me on the same tip, making threats & such. Until the night she walked into a place where I stood, in the flesh. She had nothing bold to say then. Tho she'd previously threatened to "bash my head in", she stood with her hands loosely at her sides and quietly walked away...

A MOMENT WITH MANDII - Creepy Freak

You know what's creepy as hell? - when you're driving, and glance into your rear view mirror only to notice that the driver behind you is looking at you through your rear view.

lol

that is all

CHEATING SPOUSES ~ Ladies, Stop Reading Cosmo

So I just read an article on Cosmo titled How To Keep Him From Cheating, and it was as ridiculous as expected...

Cosmo Says: Hang with his co-workers. The other women he works with will be more likely to hang back if they can put a face to a name. Plus, your guy will feel extra bonded as a couple if he is able to share another part of his life with you.
Mandii Says: O Rly? So becoming a hanger-on will deter his female co-workers from scheming? And Mr. Man will happily receive my uber clingy behavior? :::Borat voice::: Naahhht!!! Ladies, even if you COULD place yourself in every setting your guy will be in, is this the kind of relationship you want? If you can't trust your guy to keep his peen in his pants at the annual company picnic, it may be time to reevaluate this partnership.

Cosmo Says: Ask him questions. If your guy feels like he can’t talk to you about the stuff going on at work, he’ll likely turn to someone else who understands (like his cute cubemate). Make a point to ask him how a difficult project is going or if anything funny happened that day. If you’re well-versed in what’s going on in his world, it’ll be harder for him to pull that whole “I’ve got a big deadline — must work late” excuse.
Mandii Says: Negative. Just because he's talking to you about his workday doesn't mean he'll refrain from discussing work matters with his co-workers - including "his cute cubemate". Who better to discuss workshiz with than the very people you work with? And come on...a liar is a liar. And a good one always has a "spare". Asking your sweetie "hey, how was your day" should be a question of interest. Not an interrogation.

Cosmo Says: Stay on his mind. Take advantage of his dominate sense and give him a photo for his desk of you two. The photo will have more meaning and be a constant reminder of just how much fun he has with you. Looking at it will boost his mood, and his loyalty.
Mandii Says: WRONG! This type of smothering behavior falls into a category I like to call "secret stalking". It's somewhere between phone snooping and "I was in the neighborhood & decided to stop by". Besides, more office affairs turn physical once the two start ca noodling outside of work. And I doubt your guy will flash back to that nicely framed couple pic while he's out having a dance & a drink with his cute cubemate. I'm not knocking desk pics. But it should be there because he wants it there, not because you shoved it in his briefcase as a cheating deterrent.

In closing...if your other half is going to dip, they're going to dip. And becoming obsessive is not going to keep their fidelity in order.

And who REALLY takes Cosmo articles seriously? lol