KNOW YOUR ROLE, AND SHUT YOUR MOUTH ~ HOW TO BE HER MAN ON THE SIDE

From what I've seen so far, a number of men claim to be qualified for the job, but lack the necessary skills to take on the task. But fellas, you're in luck! Listen up as this blog not very gently teaches you what it takes to be her Man on the Side.


Rule number 1: Know Your Role.

What it means ~ You must keep in mind that you are not the Star Player. Repeat: You. Are. Not. The. Star. Player. She's in love with him. She's in lust with you. He comes first, always. She doesn't have expectations of you, and you shouldn't have expectations of her. Unanswered/unreturned calls, voice mails & texts are inevitable, pal. Especially if she's engaged in some good ole QT with Mr. Man. She likes you, and she likes spending time with you. But please, don't fool yourself. She is not going to leave him and ride off into the sunset to live happily ever after with you.
She has only one requirement of you: give her what her man does not. Is she a snuggle bunny, but her guy isn't much of a cuddler? Rent some movies, order take-out and spend a nice quiet evening holding her. And don't forget to play in her hair and kiss her on the forehead for good measure (lol). Is her sexual appetite too voracious for her sweety? Call her in the middle of the day for a lunch time quickie. Head to your local adult store, grab a few choice trinkets and spend the day and/or night exhausting each other. Is she adventurous in the bedroom, but has a more meek man? Tie her wrists up, blindfold her, give her a feather massage, an oil rub down, cuff her ankles, lick her feet, clamp some nipple pinchers on her & bite her booty cheeks. And choke her a lil bit too, if that's what she likes (you'd be surprised how many of us like that).
If she's searching for a Man on the Side, her relationship is lacking something. All she wants you to do is fill the void.

Rule Number 2: Shut Your Mouth

What it means ~ At times, she will talk to you about her relationship troubles, but she is not seeking your opinions or advice. She has homegirls for that. She just needs to vent. Look at her and nod, embrace her, change the subject even. There are a number of things you could do. But what you do not want to do is say something bad about Mr. Man or suggest she end their relationship. If and when she wants to end things with him, she will. Bashing her man or pressuring her to leave him will only drive her away from you. And quicker than you think.
There a exceptions, but usually, she doesn't want a "sweet-talker". So save your I love you whispers and keep the thinking of you texts & e-mails to an absolute bare minimum. Your promises of baby I'll do this & that for you annoy the hell out of her and go in one ear and out the other. Very few women want begging & groveling outside of role playing.
You're her getaway. You should always be a relief, and never an added stress.

So there you have it, the two basic guidelines to being her Man on the Side - knowing your role and shutting your mouth.

WHAT'S EATING MANDII NICHOLE?

Trey's words have been ringing in my ears all morning. I don't condone cheating. Nope, not at all. I've never cheated. But it isn't until now that I've taken a moment to question why. I could say that it's because I have morals and I know its wrong. I could say that it's because I'd never want to hurt/disrespect someone like that. I could say that it's because the risk of disease is too high to sleep around. All of those things are true, but they simply aren't the number one reason why I've never cheated.

So what is the one thing that stands between Me & cheating? Opportunity.

I wasn't always the relationship type. I didn't sleep around, but I dated of course - you know how it goes...dinners, movies, concerts & other events. I never led anyone to believe that they were the only person I was spending time with (unless they really were). Pretty hard to cheat if you're not committed in the first place.

I believe in choices. So I don't mean to imply that I am no longer able to remain faithful in my relationship. I'm just...possibly...no longer willing to.

Opportunity has knocked. Will I answer?

I was checking out one of my favorite bloggers, Lucky Lushington, and she hit a subject that I'm a bit too familiar with right now. Fellas, check out her entry, My Least Favorite Things: The Female Version of Blue Balls. It may prevent a black eye save your relationship...

LISTEN UP ~ My Girl Gets Mad If I Don't Fuck Her

In the movie Alpha Dog, there is a scene where one of the guys says he has to leave (from watching Zack as their kidnap victim) because, "My girl gets mad if I don't fuck her".

This man, my male friends, has the right dayum idea. Fellas, don't believe the hype when it comes to what you've been conditioned to believe about women & sex. A number of us women {keyword: women, not "girls"} are freaks what homeboy Xilla from Blogxilla.com refers to as Sexual Intellectuals and don't shy away from our urges.

One key thing to understand about women is that we aren't used to being turned down sexually. Its in the top 5 of our "stuff that isn't supposed to happen" list. So when you give her the not tonight, don't be surprised when she displays major attitude.

KEYWORD: CONTROL

I've recently started Yaz as my primary birth control method. So far, so good ~ meaning: no side effects & I'm not pregnant.

Why Yaz, you say? I'll admit...marketing sucked me in. The cutesy commercial really got my attention. But before I decided to tell my OB/GYN that Yaz was my choice, I did my homework. Their site (linked throughout this post, btw) is very informative. But I didn't stop there. For nearly two weeks, I read every Google & Yahoo!Answers post I could find.

This morning, I was wondering: Why isn't BC discussed more? When I had my first menstrual cycle, the sex & birth control talk came along with the package. But I was given the short version of everything.
Lucky for me, my over-analytical inquisitive nature kept me from turning into another case of Little Black Girl Lost. I quickly realized that the information I wanted wasn't going to fall in my lap, so I became proactive about it (remember: you are your body's sole protector).

So I ask:
Ladies: If you're using BC, what's your primary method? What made you choose this?
If you aren't using BC, why not?

Men: Is this something that you discuss with the lady (or ladies) in your life?